Broken Things
by misericordia98
Summary: "I am not a spirit." She chuckled when he gave her an instinctive furrow of disbelief. "See for yourself." /Mini-Story/
1. Iruka Of The Sea

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

 _A/N: Alright, this is simultaneously a tribute to all the people who have been (and probably will be this year too) lonely at those upcoming holidays (that generally make 95% of the people feel awful) and a tribute to a character that I love dearly and think deserves to be recognized as one of the main reasons Naruto became what he is._

 _And since The Rinne Festival is the closest there is to Christmas in the Narutoverse, I came up with a mini-story. Also, I never once saw a fanfic in which he's not paired up with a man so… I invented one myself. In my humble opinion, being a submissive wreck in a yaoi smut is not the only thing Iruka can be lol_ _I still hope people understand how terribly cute he is, though._

 _Enjoy._

* * *

 **I.**

 **\- Iruka Of The Sea -**

"Iruka-sensei!"

He turned around by instinct, seeking the source of the so well-known voice. The Konoha markets were opulent, as they always were by this time of the year, and he was making his best to reply to the grandeur of it all, especially the good mood, but he just woke up with an indifference that was just like stained on him. Nothing moved him the way it should have.

He did not mind the noise or the colors, he was just used to being an observer rather than a participator and now he just wandered the streets within some profound loss of sense and direction, trying to figure out why he was feeling like a feather to the wind this whole morning. Of course, a certain voice dragged him out of that state immediately and whenever he heard it calling him, he was ready to answer.

"Naruto." Iruka smiled at him as he approached, a little out of breath and cheeks red from the cold.

"You headed somewhere, sensei? You're walking pretty fast." Naruto looked around him almost as if the surroundings could give him some clue, but Iruka was quick to differ.

"Just the opposite. I've got a free day from the Academy and every time that happens I don't really know what to do with my time." He shrugged. "And I already trained a few hours ago. What's wrong?"

"Uh, well… we're making a party at my house for the Festival and…" Naruto put his hands in his pockets, shrugging. "I am inviting you to come for the dinner."

"Me?" Iruka was confused for a moment and Naruto nodded energetically.

"Naruto, you're now-," Iruka laughed, without finishing the sentence. He was really silly sometimes.

"I'm what?" Naruto leaned in, puckering up.

"You're a married man now, don't you want to spend your first Rinne Festival with your wife? I want to respect your privacy-"

"You're not gonna get away from this." Naruto pouted. "You're coming."

"This is not a question." Iruka caressed his temple nervously.

"No, it's not. Waiting for you at seven." Naruto grinned at him, hitting his arm so hard that he barely kept his balance, and before he could object any further, Naruto was walking away.

Well, if he was happy, why not?

Iruka sighed heavily and went on with his aimless walking. He didn't have anything to do tonight anyway, but there was one thought he had in mind or a few days now. Maybe that was why his reluctance to go to a party was so strong. The plan consisted of a visit to the Cemetery this afternoon and what more convenient day for that than the Rinne Festival itself?

In any case, he was glad that Naruto insisted on his presence as passionately – it was nice to feel like he cared as much, even though he married a couple of months ago and it seemed to him that the right thing to do for Naruto was to give more attention to Hinata during the holidays since they were the first ones they spent together. But if he wanted him to be there, then so be it.

* * *

It's been a while since he wore that kimono, but given the holiday and the strange atmosphere he was beginning to feel around, it was quite apt. The folds of the _hakama_ were of grey and white shepherd's plaid, while the _haori_ covered his shoulders with a clean black. He was fond of the simplicity in clothes rather than any particular combination of colors and that's why he found that kimono to be something like a solace to his eyes among that sea of vivid nuances they met outside on the streets, the lanterns, the clothes, and the decorations.

Either this was really a madness and people fell into frenzied fits during the holidays or it was just him and he was getting older. Probably both.

He was relieved when he finally found Naruto's house and knocked on the door a few times. Muffled voices reached his ears as he waited patiently at the threshold, holding a tiny box in his hands and eyes scanning the alley thoughtfully. The sun was almost down and dusk was covering most of the village in ever-growing shadows. Something told him that it was going to rain soon so he brought an umbrella as well.

It was a tradition, to give gifts to your loved ones every Rinne Festival. In fact, the festival had dual purposes, but some ignored one of the sides at expense of the other. Other people, like him, chose to honor both sides. He had loved ones, whom he cared about and he was obliged to be prepared with a gift at least to his host, which turned out not an easy matter, but in the end, he ended up with something that satisfied him. As for the other side of the holiday, he would think about it later.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto beamed when he opened the door.

"Yeah, yeah, ok." Iruka laughed faintly, his heart filling with warmth at Naruto's reaction. He suppressed the wish to scold him for still being so childish and smiled back instead. "I've got you something… it's not much but I think you'll like it."

Naruto backed away and took the box from his hands eagerly.

"It's…" Iruka coughed, to clear up his throat. "It's a kunai dagger that belonged to my father. I want you to have it."

"Really?" Naruto's eyes widened. "B-but, Iruka-sensei-"

"It's yours. End of story." Iruka raised his hand to silence him with an admonishing tone and moved Naruto away from the entrance so that he could go inside.

Naruto stormed words and phrases of gratitude in the next minutes, but Iruka made his best to ignore them, flushing red at the sound of only the first one. Some people thought he's being modest by nature, but it was his phenomenal disability to accept compliments and give them properly really.

The part in his brain that was responsible for fighting was quite alright, but the part where social skills resided was, frankly, shut down completely for some reason. This all created awkward situations in his life on a daily basis.

Naruto had invited most of his friends over, as it turned out – Ino, Sai and Sakura were aheap in one corner of the room, discussing something with excitement; the other side was comically opposite – Shikamaru was looking exasperated to his very core next to a silent Shino, a cross Temari and an eating Kiba. He saw other familiar faces as well and noted the formal clothing and youthful faces with a pleasant surprise.

It's not been long since the War ended and he expected them to be still… he didn't quite know what, but maybe the word he was looking for was _mourning_. Fortunately, they all seemed bright and happy, which eased him too, he had to be honest. He had always felt responsible for their safety and happiness, not as directly as he did with Naruto, but their happiness was important for him.

The dinner was more than lovely and he couldn't help but feel just a little bit jealous – Hinata was even a finer cook that he had anticipated her to be and Naruto did not seem to appreciate her magnificent skills as much as she deserved, busy handling the interest of all his guests at once. Iruka didn't blame him – he was the village's hero _and_ the first one to get married of them all. His persona was the most intriguing one in the house and Iruka didn't blame him at all.

It was entertaining to watch from aside – his struggles to keep the attention, the joy in his sky-blue eyes he thanked his friends for coming numerous times. He deserved this, every single smile and hug, and gift. The pride swelled in Iruka's chest as he sat next to Kakashi at the end of the table in the wide dining room and both commented on the long way everyone's come through and the fact that they were no longer the children they had to protect and watch over.

"So," Kakashi sighed, his fingers making absent circles over the rim of his sake cup. "How are you doing, lately? Anything new?"

"Nothing new," Iruka admitted, enjoying the next rant that Sai's remarks caused. The fuss was becoming a bit overwhelming so he had to lean into Kakashi so that they could hear each other clearly. The latter was suspicious of the answer he got and raised a brow.

"You say it like it's a great thing."

"It is, for me."

"And why is that?"

Iruka shrugged.

"In my experience, new means change and change means suffering. I'm fine with nothing new, I even prefer it."

Kakashi pierced him with an inquisitive and a silent look that made Iruka slightly uncomfortable. He could feel the judgmental flow of thoughts that ran through Kakashi's head all too clearly. There was something cowardly about this way of thinking, he knew it without saying. But lately, he was just tired of changes, of that mental load he carried, the responsibilities, the shinobi's duty. He was tired of living with those memories that chased him every time he found himself alone in the dark.

Kakashi wasn't like him.

Kakashi was a warrior by heart; a strong, unbreakable spirit. He was resolute in a specific way that no one could imitate. It was something of a gift, the way he was leading people. That's why he was chosen by the people, that's why they trusted them with their lives and crowned him a Hokage without any doubt. The Council was unanimous as well. Tragedies seemed to just sweep through him evanescently and it looked from aside that he did not fight them long before taking over and continuing on his path as a winner.

Iruka tried living that way, but the pattern in his life was not quite the same. Something, that he wasn't aware of, went wrong. He felt less like a winner at the end of his battles and more like a survivor. It was not the same… and it was not enough.

Kakashi was in a navy blue shirt and a loosened bowtie around his collar, seemingly not in the mood to discuss the subject or dig any deeper; just as pleased to witness the clamor around them. The look on his face was more tired than usual, though, and Iruka wondered if something troubles him. Kakashi was so easy to read that even the slightest worry was written on his features and could be seen from miles.

"I don't like this festival." Kakashi took a breath, leaning back in his chair. "I'm honest." He turned to meet Iruka's eyes, waiting for a reaction.

"Me neither." Iruka turned away from him, draining his glass at once. "Makes you think about all sorts of things you usually avoid during the other days." He left the cup on the table and smiled at Hinata, who just happened to meet his gaze from across the table. "But you look more worried than usual. Something wrong?"

"Yeah. He's late and I don't like it."

Iruka glanced at his friend and was just about to require the details of this comment when a distant knocking hushed the voices in the room and dragged the attention. Naruto stood up and exchanged glanced with Sakura before both of them left the room together. The conversations continued quietly as Iruka gestured Kakashi to get up with a smile. It was rare to have his team gathered together like this so he had to meet them properly as well.

"Come on, go." Iruka incited him, glad to see the relief on Kakashi's face when he laid eyes on Sasuke as he entered the room wearily, followed by Naruto and Sakura. "It's a bad omen to remain all alone on this day."

"You just made this up, didn't you?" Kakashi gave him a meaning look but standing up to meet his pupils nevertheless.

Iruka knew best of all that to see your students live and well was the greatest gift any teacher could receive, which was why seeing the teams together was the happiest moment of all this. Not the food, the drinks or the presents.

He observed the scenery for a while – the groups, the chatting and then his gaze shifted to the window on his right. The view showed the busy side of the street and the puffs of smoke that came off the lined up shops and houses. The millions of lights sparkled in a cold yellow light and he thought that he hadn't seen such a resplendent view in a while – at least not across _his_ apartment. There was a dark line of just as grey apartments and it was more of a secluded part of the neighborhood.

Iruka slowly stood up and pushed his chair back to the table. It was time for the other part of the holiday.

He looked up, finding a pair of beautiful nacreous eyes already watching him with a tint of sadness. She wished to make him feel comfortable and worried that he did not have a good time, surely, but he had to go. A light bow in her way and a smile seemed to appease her because she smiled back and stood up to send him off to the door.

* * *

The wind usually whirled harshly at this time of the year, but today it was mild and just as nipping as it was in the morning. The pathway to the Cemetery was lit up by red-colored lantern for those who were headed that way. Iruka followed them quietly, squeezing his umbrella and trying his best to not feel down.

He woke up with bad anticipation and it lingered with him throughout the day. It made him hate himself for not standing up to it or not making any attempt at discarding it. It was of no use. The sadness had taken a hold on him and he could just float his way to the end of tonight, when he'll be done with this day for the rest of the year.

The Cemetery was almost desolate (which he expected because most villagers visited it in the morning and celebrated with their loved ones in the evening) and he was glad of it, passing by a few elderly men and women on their way back to the village. Candles illuminated every grave from one side to the other and he orientated easily among them, stopping at the one he searched for at last.

Iruka kneeled down on the cold stone and looked down at the frail flicker.

They left this life protecting the village. They left, serving to their beliefs; fulfilling their fates, protecting the innocent. Everything the shinobi was meant for. However he had looked at it, through whatever angle or logic he channeled their choices through, they were impeccable and he was… on the losing side. The side that had no say in the matter.

Maybe that was better, remaining silent on the subject. Because he said many bad words and he poured a lot of anger upon the stone he was resting, throughout the years. The anger evaporated with time, leaving a thin surface of bitterness. There was no point in revolting, though. Facts were facts. He lived through his worst years, it was easier now. Or so he said to himself.

The wind howled with an unexpected blow and extinguished the tiny flame, despite that he tried to cover and save it. It wasn't completely dark and he lit it up again but had a hard time figuring out how to protect it from the wind, cupping it in his hands.

"You can tuck it between the flower stand and the wall."

He turned around to see an approaching girl – her voice gave her away – and before he could discern her features, she was kneeling next to him and pushing the candle further to the stand. "That way it's shielded from almost all sides. The wind won't touch it." There was something intriguing and pleasant in her voice, a singsong tone that reminded chanting.

It was probably going to occur to him sooner or later, but he was so lost in thought that he might've appeared in need of help. Embarrassing, nevertheless."Thank you." He spoke, a little bit surprised to see someone so eager to keep those candles alive. Usually, on a windy night, nobody cared if they went out. The majority of people came during the day anyway.

She assured the candle was safe and relaxed back on her legs, peering at it in silence. Iruka took the moment to look at her and remained surprised. He had the extremely vague idea that he's seen her before. Could be that he was imagining. That azure, haunting glaze of her eyes was strangely familiar. She was in a kimono herself, but her head and shoulders were covered by a plain scarf that likely kept her from the cold.

Iruka was so distracted by the way the flame reflected in her light eyes and danced on her skin that when she turned to look at him directly in the eyes, he didn't even bother looking away. Her eyes were a captivating sea-blue and he could see only now that a few locks of short dark hair had escaped and swung freely to the wind.

Her static posture and shameless reply to his stare were all the more intriguing, given the fact that the two of them were probably the only ones left at the Cemetery. She was so pale and it seemed like she didn't blink at all, and after a tensed minute he wondered if she wasn't a ghost or an apparition of some kind.

He had ever seen a woman so ethereal and, truth be told, she was frighteningly daring. Her face had seen sorrow and loss, that was for sure. He recognized those when he saw them.

"Of the sea." She finally spoke, or rather whispered, with a small smile on her lips and gaze onto the candle.

"Excuse me?" Iruka couldn't stop the question from rolling out of him.

"Umino."

Iruka let out a puff.

"Yeah."

"I love the sea." The girl turned to look at him again. "I've seen it many times during my travels. It is the most beautiful sight I've seen in my life."

Iruka was unaware of what he was supposed to say to this, so he remained quiet for a while. That magnetic gaze of hers was disabling all kinds of abilities he had thought he acquired.

"Forgive me, do I know you?" He narrowed eyes, trying hard to remember.

She chuckled.

"You might've seen me once or twice. I live in the apartment across yours. We are," There was a distinct pause that he didn't fail to notice, "neighbors."

* * *

 _A/N: Thanks a lot for reading! Hope you'll like the continuation and hope you like the OC, I wanted her to be kinda mystical in the spirit of the holidays. I'll probably either post all chapters at once or very soon one after the other._


	2. Tea

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

 **II.**

 **\- Tea -**

Neighbors? He had no memory of her whatsoever.

Iruka desperately wanted to continue the conversation and still was deeply intrigued. Hopefully, this could turn out to be not a fragment of his imagination. Unfortunately, touching her to make sure she's real would be inappropriate on another level. It didn't mean that he denied having that impulse, though.

The girl extended her hand with a slow, circular and almost sensual motion; offering him to take a look at her palm, whose lines were now darkened by the lack of light.

"I am not a spirit." She chuckled when he gave her an instinctive furrow of disbelief. "See for yourself."

Iruka decided that he'll play her game and reached, fingers wrapping around her tiny wrist. She shivered lightly (he wasn't sure whether it was his hand or the cold whirl of the wind), but smiled nevertheless.

"See? Human."

"You're freezing." He stated evenly, getting up on his feet and dusting his kimono off in the process. Then he extended his hand again, to help her. The surprise on her features was visible and she just stood still for a second, holding the scarf close and looking up at him, eyes shimmering with wonder. "Do you wish to stay here?" He asked then, suddenly, musing that she might've just arrived, but she shook her head vigorously and hurried to catch his hand and get on her feet as well.

"Thank you… and no, I was headed back to the village anyway when I saw your candle going out." She drawled, with a little smile on her lips. "You seemed a bit lost there."

"I am fundamentally lost, this is a permanent state. Trust me." His low murmur was followed by her ringing laughter.

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Yeah, it is." He sighed, taking the lead.

They followed the line of red lanterns at an unhurried pace and for the first ten minutes neither of them spoke, but then he decided it's rude to not talk at all. What was more, he was truly curious. He glanced at her again, this time under the colorful and brighter lights of the lanterns and was able to notice that there were tension and nervousness in the way she had gripped her scarf and the way her tired eyes were nailed on the ground as they walked, side by side.

"I'm Iruka." He said, making her raise her eyes and lift off the sadness in them a bit.

"I know."

Her voice was a half-whisper again, like a caress of the wind, and somehow it did not even surprise him that she knew. Apparently, she was the more observant neighbor of them both. Her eyes crinkled as she chuckled, gaze skimming over the brown cord on which the lanterns swayed to the currents of air.

"What is hung on the south wall of your kitchen?"

Iruka was starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable. She was asking absolutely the strangest questions.

"Excuse me?"

"I live across and I can't help but notice from time to time, sorry. You spent hours watching something in that direction."

"Whom do you mourn?" Iruka decided to counter her inquiry with one of his own because he didn't think it was fair for him to be interrogated throughout the whole night. It was her turn and she probably realized it because she turned to smile at him, but the smile had a little bit of a dark undertone.

"A whole family, actually." She took a deep breath. "Okaa-san and nii-san died in the fires of the night of the demon attack. Otou-san died in the Fourth Shinobi War. We're civilians, though. Merchants… father took me to a lot of his travels and I've seen other countries and villages. The sea, though…" A sigh escaping her lips, "breathtaking. Have you seen it?"

"Love the forest more, if I have to be honest. It's where I grew up."

"Konoha is Konoha, huh?"

"Yeah…"

"And what about you? Parents?" The girl's voice was hushed with melancholy. "I saw two names back then."

"Parents," Iruka confirmed. "Shinobi. Fought and died on the 10th of October."

"They have had a meaningful death. My condolences."

"Thank you."

* * *

They passed by the quieter outskirts and started to get into the part of the village where the shops and markets were still open and busy. He remembered that they usually worked till late on the Rinne Festival. Logical, he thought, since a lot of people have a day off work today and taking a walk around the main streets sounded like a good plan. There was always the type of people who had forgotten to buy a present or two and did it in the last minute. Nevertheless, going out just to see the lights and the ornaments was just as good of a reason.

His apartment was in the north-western side of the village, a few blocks away from Naruto's house, and he began to wonder how, in so many years, has he not noticed any neighbor he's had. The battles and the teaching had taken all of his attention. Nobody noticed small things during turbulent times like the ones this particular village went through, anyway.

They stopped at the shadowy side of the alley (which was only partly lit up by the single lantern not far from them) and Iruka tried forming in his mind a full-fledged way to apologize for leaving her, but she spoke first.

"Do you want to come in? For a cup of tea."

Iruka felt a few small, wet drops falling and looked up, distracted by them. It finally started to rain.

"I…" His eyes shifted back on her, "probably shouldn't."

"Please." She stepped closer, her eyes begging him with a relentless force.

He has been pretty screwed all his life, for not being able to say _no_ to people, but this time he was really, really screwed. Because she resonated tension of a different kind. She didn't invite, she allured, knowing exactly what power her appearance had on him. He was willingly falling into the trap. But she was not dangerous nor she wished to harm him, obviously, it was more of… an attraction. Strong attraction.

Iruka waited for her to unlock the door and they entered a cozy apartment. The small kitchen and the living room, in which they directly entered, were one whole and the paint was a mild, creamy peach. Almost like his.

"Sit. I'll make the tea." She gestured at the kotatsu across the room and smiled at him.

He obeyed, but not without taking a good look at all the vivid paintings that were hung on the walls all around him. They were likely painted by hand and he suspected they had sentimental value because they were too much and not really masterpieces. Still, the paintings were good and were mostly landscapes. Light colors. There was happiness in the images, so he assumed they were painted long ago.

"Here." The girl handed him a steaming cup and sat across him with her own, tucking her feet under the cover. "Those are my mother's. I saw you were interested." Both her hands hugged the cup and she joined him in his observation. "She was a painter. Nii-san had her gift, but I'm bad at it."

"Anything you like doing? Except for traveling." Iruka took a sip from the tea and was surprised by the unusual berry taste.

"I am bad at everything if I have to be honest." She laughed sincerely, before taking a deep breath. "I love cooking, though. Calms me down."

The pause rent the dialogue again and Iruka couldn't remember having such a difficult conversation with someone lately. There was something in-between that filled in the silence and made him uneasy. He didn't even know her name yet.

"It is really odd to me," The girl raised her voice, sharpening his attention, "that Kakashi Hatake is a really popular name in this village. I hear his name all the time." Her voice was still louder than necessary and her eyes were nailed on her tea. "I don't hear yours anywhere, though."

"Who are you?" Iruka left the tea on the table abruptly, furrowing at her. Her words nipped him and the allure she weaved till now suddenly lost its hold on him, leaving a place for a wave of uprising anger. "What do you want from me?"

She slightly tilted her head, as if it grew a little bit heavier, and her eyes blurred with sadness, which didn't appease him in the least. There was something very beautiful and deep in her eyes when she looked at him like that and he caught himself staring back at her for one long moment of appreciation, but then he blinked away and scoffed, standing up to his feet. That was just another one of her tricks.

"Thank you for the tea," He nodded curtly and headed for the door, bashing it shut behind him. But at the first step, he stopped himself.

The street was desolate. He could hear people in the distance rushing to and fro, to evade getting wet by the already increasing drizzle. The air enveloped him in a cold embrace and cleared his mind up.

What kind of a witch was that and why did he submit to her in the first place?

The door slowly clicked open and he took a deep breath, ready for a verbal fight, but before he could raise his voice the words stuck in his throat, stultified by a single motion. Her hands slipped around him and she slowly adhered to him in something that closely resembled a hug, but she moved so slowly and cautiously that he had doubts about it.

"What are you doing?"

"It's a clock, isn't it? The thing on your wall you love watching. You wish to turn back time."

"Get away from me," Iruka warned.

"You wish things have been different."

Something stung at the back of his eyes, he wasn't sure whether his wrath channeled those tears or the gnawing pain she awakened so insolently.

"How dare you?" He wrested away, facing her. "You think you know me so well-"

"You wish you had died with them. I know it. I wish I had died then too." She finished quietly. "You were not the only one left with a hole in your life that day."

"Good for you." Iruka stepped to her. "I'm happy that you feel like you have an idea of what I went through. Stop talking like you know me."

"Then I saw the sun-haired child. The demon carrier who could end the suffering of my soul. My detestation and will for revenge grew stronger with every day. Especially on the days you sheltered him in your apartment. I could barely stop myself. Waiting for the time you'd leave him alone or turn away from him."

Iruka's eyes tore away from her in shame.

He felt that way too once. Revenge? Oh, yes. Delivering justice was an edge away. So close to ending the endless nights of sorrow, the regrets, the shattered lives of hundreds. He could pacify souls with this act. Probably save the destruction of millions in the future. It was a noble cause once. But Naruto was… a child. A little bundle of energy that too mourned the loss of his loved ones. Naruto had nothing to do with the sinful monster they locked inside of him. Naruto was not guilty and didn't deserve any punishment.

"Then I heard about your story. People talked." The girl bit her lip. "I couldn't sleep that night, wandering the streets. Refusing to go back to my place because of all the frustration I have built up. And then I-" Her voice broke off and she chuckled through her inconvenience. "I went back in the morning. Your window was partly open when I passed by. The boy was sleeping in your bed and you lied next to him in the silence, and you looked at him… with so much love that…"

She took a labored breath, head shaking.

"I just felt so bad. And so useless. I wasted days upon days on hate and sorrow, while you… took care of him. And now he's a hero and people love him… and he is what he is thanks to you."

"I, uh… I did what I thought was right." Iruka commented evenly, starting to feel a lot more uncomfortable than before. The conversation had taken an interesting turn.

"Yeah… right." She let out a forced laugh. "Sleepless nights? Starving because you always gave him all your money? Freezing because you can't afford anything more than blankets? I can see through your windows, you know. We are neighbors."

"And why do you chose to tell me this now?"

"Because we cherish our heroes today." She breathed out, stepping closer to him. Close enough for her to get under the rain. "And you are mine, Iruka."


	3. Touch

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

 **III.**

 **\- Touch -**

He was generally confused within the first seconds, but then the frustration hit him like a wave and robbed him of his ability to breathe. He only recognized the lack of breath when a growing pain appeared in his chest and was forced to take a deep breath. Then swallow down. His mind was blank for a long period of time, but he figured he had to say something. Her hero? He's never been anyone's hero before. What was that like? In what sense did she mean that?

"Are you ever going to tell me your name?" He blurted out, in the end, and backed away a bit, afraid that he must've come closer than anticipated.

Who the hell says something like this? He ruined everything. She's been a neighbor for so many years and he hasn't even noticed. Not once. How could he not notice such a graceful creature? There was adoration in her eyes that he's not seen anywhere else, adoration for… him, like his presence was important for her. Such a strange sensation that was.

"Sorry, I'll keep you in the dark a little more." She chuckled, hands in the back as she stepped to the door and opened it. Then she reached for his hand and pulled him inside again. "Do you not notice you're soaking wet?"

Iruka woke up as if from a dream and snapped back to reality, glancing back at the closed door and then to his clothes. Then to her and then away from her. Warmth darkened his face and he pretended that he wasn't as embarrassed as he was actually feeling. Not that it helped.

"Do you wanna come to my bedroom?"

His shock only deepened at the sound of those words and he convinced himself it was because he was tired. It was not the first time he's overheard something. Maybe it was the lash of the loose electric wire outside the apartment. The wind often whirled strong at this side of the village and the wires created that scary sonance.

"Iruka."

"Sorry, what?" He blinked at her.

She brushed her short wet hair backward nervously and her eyes couldn't find the strength to hold his anymore, looking down with some sort of reconciliation.

"You have someone waiting for you at your apartment?"

"No. No, no." He assured her quickly.

Her vivid turquoise orbs were fixed on him again and he shivered, unsure whether it was the coldness or her powerful influence on him. It felt like nothing he said or did was by his own will now, he went with the flow in the last few minutes. There was something mystical about her that kindled his curiosity, but he was somehow too afraid to wade deeper. He met her just now.

"Do you think you could spend the night with a complete stranger like me? Would you take a risk like this?"

 _Spend a night with_ \- Iruka turned pale and leaned back on the door.

He couldn't believe what she was doing. He knew people did that all the time, he knew why people did it, but he's never imagined himself in such a situation. He never thought anyone would notice him in the first place. Also, his knowledge on the opposite sex was quite limited so he never even tried to win anyone's affection.

His personal life was like his apartment – he knew it was messed up and he always promised to himself to fix it and tidy up, but he never actually ended up doing it and instead he got used to the chaos and the fact that he'd never have the time or the willpower to change it, at all.

There was a chance for him to fix that bedroom for once, but the fear in him was just massive. She was absolutely stunning and such a pleasure to the eye and he was just the most ordinary, casual person there ever was. Oh, no.

"You seem… surprised. Am I not," She enveloped herself as if she was suddenly cold, "attractive enough to-"

"It's not you, you are perfect!" Iruka came off the door, stopping her from finishing. "It's…"

It was so awkward that he thought that maybe it'd be best for him to just leave and be done with this. But a part in him just wished he could have her. It was a senseless, blind part that was tucked in that corner of his mind he rarely needed. Just like all overwhelming states of emotion and desire, he tended to avoid them in order to save himself the trouble.

But it was so damn unfair that he never allowed anything like this to himself. He's never broken a rule in his life, but nobody cared anymore so there was no point in trying to keep his foundations now. There was this one unsettling thing, though. She was everything he had ever imagined as attractive, but…

"It's… me."

He battled the shame, nearing her slowly.

"You don't mind… scars?" Iruka looked at her for a second before escaping her gaze again. Looking at her has become gradually difficult. "I've got a few more on my body, I'm just making s-sure you… are aware. I mean, some people-"

"What planet are you coming from?" The girl laughed quietly. "Because scars are sexy from where _I_ come from."

"So," Her low laughter sent a dizzying wave through him and he made a little pause, "it's fine?"

She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a kiss, her tongue invading his mouth eagerly and he almost sagged under the whole psychological pressure she exercised upon him since they met, despite that he towered her by at least five inches.

"I know this is weird to you." She breathed out, backing away a bit with a desperate expression and glassy eyes. "But I have been in love with you for so long, you have no idea."

"And you are…?" He reminded, using his even teaching-voice and succeeding in making her chuckle.

"Emina. Nice to meet you." Her hands wrapped around his neck and she leaned her forehead on his. "I wish you could feel the happiness I feel right now. I wish you knew how irreplaceable and needed you are."

"I will be honest with you." Iruka made a dramatic pause, strictly focused on her lips. "This is really confusing to me."

"When was the last time someone hugged you?" She asked, withered with sadness.

Iruka looked up to her eyes in surprise and remained still for one long moment. Hugged him? Well… that was an easy question. He took a breath, but his mind betrayed him and he was left hanging again, in awkward silence. Tiny teardrops formed in the corners of her eyes and he tried to back away, the fear in him taking over as she released her hold on him. He felt like he was hurting her, whatever he did.

"Uh, yeah. Yesterday. I hugged Naruto." He announced forcibly, to cheer her up; then the sentence resonated wrong again and he hurried to fix it. "Naruto hugged me."

He watched her without moving, frightened that he might've messed up and upset her even more. A tear fell down her cheek as she looked right into him, with her silent sorrow, and he knew that she did not believe his perfunctory lie because he's always been bad at lying. She really cared for him, didn't she?

Emina reached for his hand and slightly pulled him closer, giving him a pointed look. Then she leaned in, brushing her lips against his.

"Touch." Emina whispered shakily, her hands sliding up his chest and along the line of the kimono rim until it reached his shoulder and tugged it slowly downward, baring his skin. "Remember what that feels like?" Her icy fingers slid up again, while her body was pressing against him mildly, and brushed through his hair, removing the cord that kept his hair in order. He couldn't help but flinch at the intrusive motion and barely suppressed the urge to push her away.

Half-fear, half-discomfort twisted his features when she backed away to admire what she had done, but they discarded a bit when he noticed the look in her eyes. Something like a combination between admiration and lust that dried up his mouth.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him backward, to a door at the other side of the room, and he thought that it was frenzy that obsessed her, but then she stopped, with her hand on the handle and her eyes searching his.

"Do you trust me?"

He was not sure.

He was not used to anything she offered, he did not know all the ways of showing and receiving affection and feared that he'd fail, but there was so much hope in those eyes. She was fearless, determined and affectionate; all the things he was not at this very moment, and whatever kind of a person she was didn't really matter to him as long as she understood that he wouldn't be able to reply with the same.

She was well aware of this – it was written all over her face – and that's why he could afford to take a leap of faith, with a nod of his head.

* * *

 _Burning. That was all he felt at first. Devouring fire of sensations. It was nice in the beginning, as the bubbly feeling of a tickle; his stomach tumbled over and over again and he couldn't decide whether it was nausea from the tension of his nerves or the unknown comfort of a foreign touch, then it turned torturous and maddening. The sheets were soft beneath him, but she made it hard to focus on anything else but her – above, with her darkened blue-green gaze and that lace that he had not expected to like as much._

The usual night terrors clenched and fettered him, he could not fall asleep, despite that his body was aching with tiredness. Maybe it was the unfamiliar presence, maybe the bed that he wasn't used to. It was usually not as bad when he was at home. He hoped they'd leave him alone soon.

 _Surprising even to himself, he did not feel comfortable with all those things she tried. So he asked her to lay back instead… just to try the feeling of it. It was confounding and frustrating and intense, but then she complied, allowing him to loom over her and take a good look at her body… the way her hair spattered on the pillow, the way she breathed and her chest heaved up and down, the way she had opened up invitingly, even though she did not know him at all and the way she looked at him, ready to comply with anything, just to make him feel like he belonged. It all clicked together in his mind then._

He snapped awake, his breath coming sharp and shallow. The desperation was so sure and so true in the images he last saw that he accepted them as a reality. He was there again, an apparition among the fallen and the ones who still fell under the shade of the great demon. It was hopeless, all of it. He sought the flicker of a flame, the saving silhouette of the fire shadow that swore to protect the village. Where was he when the people needed him?

 _It was all right now. To kiss her down as much as his deprived soul desired, to feel the concentrated pleasure her body allowed, the wetness, the softness. She chanted quiet words in his ear whenever she found herself able to pierce through the series of moans and he was convinced that velvet course was the most soothing weave of sounds he's ever heard. It did occur to him that she might be this loud only to make him feel better – his terrific wariness of her delicate body and the pain he probably caused were in no way equal to the amounts of pleasure her folds granted him, but then she laughed breathlessly, commanding him to stop apologizing for everything._

It was still dark when he finally got a hold on his thoughts and fell asleep. It was another scenery this time. Darkness crawled over the village and he saw it all as if from above, without being able to protest or make a sound. The villagers were sullen and harsh, and sorrowful, as if something had happened. Konoha… the streets were hung with black symbols and every door and fence was repainted. Days of mourning. The hour was still dark when he awakened again.

 _He felt her shudder harshly when he moaned the first time and it did only clear up to him now that his voice affected her so deeply. She liked it. More than his desultory touching, pulling, pressing or kissing. The language of her body was eloquent and unostentatious, she was open and kind to him, her fingertips tracing his skin with a finesse that eased him immensely. Her tips stopped at the carved scar in his lower back not once, the one he received by saving Naruto when he was too young to know better, and wandered off just as elegantly and tenderly as they did before._

"No, please-" He begged, his voice a tormented whisper in the silent darkness of the room. His heartbeat quickened painfully and his chest felt so heavy that he could not take a breath. He only cared to calm his breathing then. Something that he couldn't manage, being within a frenzied struggle. The horror of that very notion was momentary, he knew Naruto was alive and well at the moment he woke up, but the afterglow of this dream was even worse than the last one.

 _The need was overwhelming him, pushing aside every thought he had running through his worrisome mind, but there was a small particle in him that wished he could remain buried and hidden like that. Wrapped up, covered and safe. He wondered if other men have felt that way. It was probably him only. The chase was relentless and enhanced second by second, much to his regret, and he couldn't capture the moment, couldn't capture the trice in which his breath hitched and stumbled, and then dissipated with a release that collapsed his system altogether._

"It's alright."

Her voice frightened him at first, but then she lazily nestled against him as if she's always belonged there and slid her hand under his and up to his shoulder blade calmingly, pressing their bodies together. Among the relief and the warmth that enveloped him, he couldn't help but feel a sting of guilt… did she wake up every time he did?

"You've seen more battles than you should have," She mouthed, her warm breath tingling the skin on his neck, "it's alright."

 _What did he do to deserve such a reward?_

 _Where did that girl even come from?_

* * *

Wondrously, the next time he woke up it was already bright. There was some sort of faint glow coming from behind the curtains and the air was almost crystallized. No doubt, it was snowing. The thought came to him before any other, thankfully, and for one long minute, he was calm. Then the inconvenience stormed his mind and he tensed, realizing the presence of another one next to him.

Iruka instinctively detached himself from her and backed away in horror. The warmth sadly disappeared due to the distance he created between them, but that was not the main issue now. It was that Emina woke up as well, with a few blinks of her eyes. His heart spasmed with a mixture of dread and awe – she was terrifically beautiful like that.

She seemed to have caught the change in the atmosphere because a shadow crossed her face and she heaved up a bit, slightly furrowing with worry.

"Are you alright?" Emina spoke out, hoarsely, and trying her best to heave up a bit, despite her sleepiness.

He was going to break her heart in pieces.

The realization hit him like a lightning bolt and he almost panicked, trying to gather his scattered thoughts together. Which resulted in a shaking of his head.

"No. Not really."

Emina slowly sat up and pulled the sheets close to her body.

"If you're hungry, I'll make breakfast." She said, but her tone suggested she only tried him, she wished to see how far she could reach and he was convinced she hoped he'd comply. Truth was, he couldn't. The very notion of this, the image of it… how did he allow himself to be so careless?

"Listen, I should not- I don't know what's happening."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like I have to… to pay you in some way." The change in her features forced him to heave up to a sitting position with his hands defensively up. "Wait, no, I meant like- I didn't mean it like y-you… I'm sorry. Really sorry."

She bit her lip, filled with confusion.

"Iruka, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I can't just accept…" He felt a lump gradually forming in his throat. "I must go. I shouldn't be here."

Then another pause of thick, hurtful silence. Her eyes blurred as the moment extended and he could swear the sight caused him some kind of physical pain.

"Nothing of this is your fault. I just feel so…" Iruka stopped, staring at her helplessly. There were more fitting words that he could use and that were convenient for his situation, but they just did not come to his mind. "Please, give me some time to think."

Emina looked at him for a while, as if estimating the situation. Then he lips formed a half-smile and she nodded comprehensively, squeezing the sheets in her fist. She was not happy with his decision but attempted to place herself in his shoes which he appreciated grandly.

Iruka tentatively neared her and she followed his movement, eyes meeting his without giving away anything of what she felt or thought. Her eyes glazed emptily, like marbles, and he saw, in a glimpse, that he had robbed something of her, something that she wouldn't just retrieve again. It was not a state he could put into words, it was a flash, an insight. The guilt that he experienced was not of shame or regret, it was of something else that he hasn't exactly figured out yet.

"Thank you."

"Why do I hear _I'm sorry,_ Iruka?" She laughed quietly, her free hand tracing the scar on his face playfully. "If I had been given the same choice from yesterday five more times," She paused, her fingers this time traveling up to brush loose locks of hair, "I'd drag you to my bedroom every time. I know it sounds wrong, but it is what I wanted."

"I hurt you." He said, backing away from her with the only intention to selfishly not damage himself by looking into her eyes. Then he started dressing up and looking for his hair cord absently. "Despite that you act like I didn't. You're not a one-stand type of a woman."

"You're not a one-stand type of a man either."

Iruka gathered his hair, trying to ignore her as his eyes searched for the waistband of his kimono, finding it soon enough.

"Stay."

"I can't." Iruka tied it on his way to the door. "It's not right."

Emina scoffed.

"What's not right, being happy?"

"Taking advantage of people." Iruka cleared up, meeting her eyes for the last time before leaving. He wished he hadn't.


	4. Broken Things

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

 **IV.**

 **\- Broken Things -**

Terrible, terrible, _terrible_ mistake.

He nailed in a kunai dagger into the wall with full force and cracked the paint in all directions, but the dagger, surprisingly, remained in place. He glared at the crack without shifting a single nerve.

What the hell was he thinking? He wasn't thinking… Yes, he was. How awfully selfish and childish of him. Was he sixteen or something? All this training of the mind he did, all that confidence and trust he had in himself, that he was reliable and was able to make conscious, good decisions, everything crumbled down. He had neither self-control, nor he had changed that old, pathetic identity he carried once.

What a failure.

 _She felt so good, though._

Dammit.

He had to leave the apartment right away and occupy his mind with some useful things, like he always did. What was today more different from any other day? It's not like he hadn't done stupid things before… But now his failure hurt not only him. His failure affected another person and he had to find a way to fix it.

Fixing something like this was like trying to catch the wind – nothing actually worked. He did not understand anything of women, which was a great starter, and also one of the previously mentioned species proved to be able to bend his will like it was nothing. He had gotten weaker, that was it… what bothered him. Right?

Iruka stormed out of his apartment (practically five minutes after he entered it) and headed down the main alley and strode along the line of shops that were less busy than usual. Perhaps the nipping cold was keeping most villagers inside their houses. His eyes skimmed over the line of the roofs absently and rested on the Hokage Rock in the distance.

On the other hand, he was feeling guilty. Odd, since he was the one seduced. Something happened last night and he felt like he's been a completely different person since she started talking with him at the Cemetery. It wasn't weakness that bothered him, no. It was something else entirely, but he had the feeling that the answer lied in the same place it all started.

He made a few familiar turns before stopping in front of a bright-colored shop with wide windows and festoon-like floral decoration.

There was probably some heater turned on because he was met by warm air full of exotic scents and it nearly dizzied him upon entering. The golden bell at the door rang out to announce his presence and he saw Ino's head raising up, torn from her previous occupation. She was in a pink dress with buttons and a scarf, sitting behind the desk, seemingly consumed in the making of a crimson bouquet of roses.

"Iruka-sensei." Ino greeted, pulling at the red ribbon with the scissors to make it curly. Her voice, though, was just soaked with curiosity and a badly concealed bewilderment.

Iruka stilled at the door, wondering whether it was a good idea to come in the first place, but then he thought it was worth it so he had to at least give it a try. The variety of flowers was so staggering that it was downright frightening. Fortunately, he knew exactly what he was looking for. Still, Ino had decorated and ordered everything perfectly, he had to admit.

"Lady of the heart?" Ino asked, with a dramatic pinch.

"Sorry?" Iruka's eyes tore away from the winter jasmine and looked at her.

"Lady of the heart. You have one?"

"I can't say that she is." Iruka smiled at her. "At least not in the classic sense of the phrase."

"Oh… forbidden love, then?" Ino bit her lip, clipping the ribbon in place.

"Impossible." He corrected.

"One-sided?"

"Definitely."

"Taken?"

"Oh, yes. Can't compare with him. At this point, I am convinced that he…"

"Is possessive, but you know she's not happy with him?"

"Would've been terribly disappointed by me." Iruka finished, fazing her, and his gaze fell on the jasmine again.

Ino froze completely for a moment. Then she left the bouquet on the counter and stood up, meeting his eyes.

"My deepest apologies, I thought you talk about the living."

"I like to think they are so." Iruka shrugged. "Somewhere else. And they're happier."

"I'm sure they are." Ino sighed, scanning him from head to toe. "So… do you know what you want? I can help."

"Winter jasmine."

"Can I ask?" Ino left the counter, glancing at him on her way to the said flower.

"Mother's favorite. They're for her." Iruka clarified. "Always kept a bouquet in the kitchen. She was… always so organized."

"Yeah?" Ino smiled widely, sadness gleaming in her eyes as she prepared the flowers in a bouquet paper.

"My father was pretty chaotic, though. I have taken after him."

Ino chuckled and handed him the ready bouquet, accepting his money with a quiet _thank you._ As he thought about it, she must have turned into a skilled listener thanks to the thousands of stories people came to her with. The job was practically requiring the exact amount of charisma and tact Ino had. It suited her.

"My condolences." She said when he turned to leave. "And take care, Iruka-sensei."

* * *

He left the flowers on the stone, passing a hand over the engraved names.

The scenery somehow appeared more calm and clear to him now, in the daylight. Some sort of contentment was flowing through his veins; a sort of odd, inexplicable ease that came with the atmosphere of this place. He was past the revolt and the storming ache of loss and mourning long ago, he had made a peace treaty with fate and was not surprised by anything thrown his way anymore (or at least almost anything).

The weakness of his inability to accept his fate was redeemed by the sacrifice of his pride and then he learned the right way, gradually, painfully. The act of allowing, of giving a chance to whatever it was that he feared would hurt him, opening his heart to it and participating.

Naruto was his most important lesson and he learned a lot from and with him. Patience, most of all. But forgiveness too, strength of character, responsibility. Growing up without parents was the nightmare he did not wish upon his worst enemies, much less to the little boy he met many years ago.

He knew that whatever monster Naruto had inside of him, he was the master of it… his impression of the world around him could become the reason for the state of his inner world. Bitterness could grow into pain and pain into anger and his anger – into massive destruction. And opposite, love could save him from the fears and help him win friends to erase the loneliness. Love was the one thing that helped him control that beast as well and now…

Iruka smiled.

The village truly did become Naruto's family. And for that, Emina was wrong. He never regretted those nights of starvation or those days of penury, he was glad they existed because they were his investment. And more importantly, they didn't exist out of any obligation. Everything he did for Naruto came from his heart and his heart only.

It really helped him, the serenity of the Cemetery – he could think everything through. They didn't start the way they were supposed to. He was supposed to take a more responsible approach to the matters, despite that her fondness of him was true. It was in her touch, the way she kissed and caressed. Their meeting was doomed from the start, as he thought about it further.

What kind of a relationship starter was this place? People usually met in cafѐs, didn't they? Truth was, he really needed the attention she poured onto him. It didn't occur to him that all that lack of closeness was something that he'd miss. But still, that was a completely wrong start. So he had to fix it.

He reached for the bouquet and pulled out a single flower.

Maybe she was too pushy, maybe he was too dramatic, but it seemed to him that there was hope for something more between them. Even if that was based on the plain pretext of not being lonely. That was not a bad foundation at all.

He mentally thanked his father and mother for being, indirectly, a part of this new opportunity. Another door of his heart he had to open. Iruka only hoped he hasn't dealt irreversible damage because on his way out of that apartment he really felt like it.

* * *

He knocked on the door for the second time and there was no answer. The third time got him thinking about turning back and leaving her alone. No sound came from the other side. Why wouldn't she…? The door yielded with close to no pressure when he tried to open it. It wasn't locked after he dashed out earlier.

"Emina?"

She wasn't in the living room. Was she even home? Could she be still… in the bedroom? It was past noon. He slowly pushed the already ajar door wider and was relieved to see her lying there in the first second, but then he was ripped with a heartache that surged through him like a lightning bolt.

Her body, although now dressed in a thick cotton two-pieced nighty, was curled around the sheets and slightly trembling.

Iruka stepped back.

Was he going to do more harm by trying to talk with her? Positively. He made another step back, but it echoed clearly and she turned sharply, then forced herself to sit up, slightly holding her head. Her eyes were reddened with tears.

She looked so frail that it stupefied him for a second.

Iruka walked to the bed timidly, thinking over the things he had planned to say, but now they didn't sound convincing to him at all. He slowly kneeled, feeling her eyes burning a hole in him as he put the small box, with the jasmine flower on top he carried, carefully in her lap.

"I was so sure you won't come back. Ever."

"I was so sure I would." Iruka gathered the courage to look up at her. "Emina, listen, If I had learned anything… in my life, it is-"

"That nice things just won't happen to you so it's good if you get used to being miserable and living on your own as early as possible?" Emina finished his sentence grimly.

Iruka inhaled and exhaled slowly, his eyes never parting hers.

"That nothing comes for free. I am accustomed to giving in-in return so… I will feel like I-I've used you if you don't accept my gift as well." He pushed the box to let her know what he meant. "Blue. The blue…" Emina waited patiently as he made attempts to form the sentence fully. His mind was completely blank so he tried to figure out a synonym. "I saw on my way in last night… The broken thing you keep on your kitchen counter. I bought you one that is not broken."

"I keep it there _because_ it's broken." She gave him a bitter smile. "I like broken things."

Iruka could only endure her gaze for a second before lowering it with inconvenience. He felt warmth rising up to his face when he realized she was not really talking about the vase.

"Don't feel like you've used me, Iruka. I wanted you to do it." Emina took the jasmine flower absently. "But I wanted you to stay as well. I knew it was too much to ask… since we don't know each other at all."

"I am not a really interesting person, you know," Iruka admitted, making her chuckle. He slowly sat on the bed next to her. "I don't know what you want me to stay for."

"I told you." Emina moved closer and wrapped her hands around his, head leaning on him lovingly. "You are my hero."

Iruka looked at her and she laughed at his utterly frightened expression.

"Why did we do everything backwards?"

"Because you're too well-mannered to bed me and I am too impatient to wait." She murmured breathily. "I don't know."

Iruka remained silent as she pursed her lips, deep in thought.

"It just felt like the right thing to do. I didn't feel like a slut yesterday, but I feel like it now." Emina met his eyes, on the verge of losing her seriousness.

"I didn't feel guilty last night either, when I was actually supposed to." He said, with a pause in which they looked at each other. "We are so weird." Then they burst into laughter.

"You bet we are. I never thought we'd first meet at a grave." Emina leaned her forehead on his, speaking quietly.

Iruka was distracted by the closeness at first but then he noticed her fingers trembled. A shadow passed across his face as he backed away and took her hands in his, to inspect them closely.

"Don't worry, it's nothing. I think I might've caught a cold or something." She sighed. "I feel dizzy and feverish the whole morning."

Iruka dropped her hands and stood up from the bed at lightning speed, the very idea that came to his mind after her words made his heartbeat increase fiercely. The color from his face disappeared.

"Iruka, calm down, I drink pills and stuff." She barely explained before bursting into another fit of laughter.

"How are you sure it is _actually_ a cold?"

"It is a cold. I'm sure." She raised a hand as if swearing that her words are true. Then she slightly tilted her head, curiosity gleaming in her eyes and lips curved into a mischievous smile. "I don't know why you're acting like this. You'd be such a great dad."

"I'm leaving." He turned to the door and almost ran his way out, terrified to the marrow of his bones.

"Wonderful, wonderful dad."

"You don't know that!"

"Can I have your babies, though?" Emina shouted out after him, giggling at his sharp _No!_ from the kitchen. "Iruka, are you still there?"

His reply came after a prolonged pause, but it did come nevertheless. "Yes."

Emina raised a brow, relaxing back on her pillow and pulling the sheets closer. Her eyes slightly blurred with a tint of sadness as she looked at the door. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making you some tea. You're ill."

She smiled, but her eyes filled with tears she tried to brush off with her sleeve.

" _I_ was supposed to take care of you, not the other way around!"

The silence extended and she started to wonder if he would comment on her words. She started picking at the peeling skin on her cracked and dry lips as she waited with anticipation.

"I only feel useful by making people rely on me." His voice came quieter as if he was not trying very hard to be heard from her. "I don't know any other way to interact. And," He paused again and she abated her breath, "you know well that living alone forces you to look after yourself, which is hard."

Emina suppressed the urge to speak out, letting him finish his thought.

"Neither of us won't be able to yield that trait entirely to the other and let it become a burden. So I have a proposition." Iruka showed up at the door and folded hands. "We'll take care of each other equally."

She sighed.

"Fair enough."

 _The End_

* * *

 _A/N: Iruka is so important to me, I really wanted him to have company and be happy. Hope this fill up the gaping lack of fanfics about him. Anyway, thank you so much for reading, loves, it means a lot to me! I wish you the happiest of holidays and if anyone feels lonely, you're free to message me, I'll be around._


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